I have been going, going and going and I started cracking last week. I was smiling and going through life on the outside but on the inside was so broken and empty. In talking with my Sister in law I realized one of my problems, I am "leading on empty". Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion by Wayne Cordeiro, I have not yet read this book but it is in my near future.
My main problem is that my daily time with the Lord kept getting cut out of my schedule and so many other things kept getting added. I am thankful for this wake up call as painful and full of tears it might be I see the Lord working and growing me in the midst of it. I took a few days break off facebook, there may be many more breaks to come, I deleted the work email off my phone, I put my time with the Lord back in my daily schedule, I stopped bottling it all up and shared with a few friends (and now anyone who reads this ;) I booked a 5 day vacation. I see mending and restoring in sight. I am a people pleaser and have been stock piling everything and have finally realized I cant do it any more! Don't get me wrong its not wrong do make people happy but when work, family, friends etc get in the way of your relationship with Christ it is wrong! I kept running on less and less and giving more and more, now it is time to regroup! Prioritize my life again, set boundaries, refocus on the things that matter! Stay tuned as there is much more to come as I refocus on Christ and His will for me!!
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